Friday, April 19, 2013

Derailed & Disappointed

I'm not a whiner by nature.
I don't usually air my personal laundry be it to casual friends, on FB or even on my blog.
I'm not typically the one sitting off in the corner feeling sorry for herself - but today I just feel like putting my frustrations and disappointment down in writing.
Please no comments or emails... just be my sounding board.

I've recently started training for my first 1/2 marathon that I plan on running with Brian in June.
Despite working out for months, as soon as I began a running program, my Plantar Fasciitis in my heel began acting up again.  At times, it is down right painful.  I went through this same thing late last spring also.  Unfortunately, I know all too well that the only way to help it heal again is rest (ie: NO Running), as well as regular icing and stretching.

I'm a planner by nature.  I like to follow a schedule.  In this case, for a race of this magnitude, I want to follow a training plan.  And now, even with rest & no running, when I do get back on the running program, I will not have been able to follow the entire program which I'm already feeling is going to put me behind the curve ball... and not be ready to tackle 13.1 miles.

I know I was up against the odds.
I'm an outsider up here.
Getting into the system is not easy.
I know that my record, my education, and my experience are tremendous.
But that doesn't change the fact that I'm not being given a shot.
I was at hoping for a chance... at least.

Don't get me wrong, what I've been doing for the last 2 years has been perfect for our family.  The time spent with the 3 most important little people in my lives is irreplaceable; it has taught me so many lessons that I have missed out on in the previous years with them; it has allowed me to just slow down and savor the "now" moments with them.
But like so many, I want to succeed professionally, too.
I'm so ready to stretch my professional brain again and do the other thing that I love doing.
I would be remiss too if I didn't admit that I want/need to help provide for my family - I want to help us "thrive" and not just "be OK and get by."

1 comment:

Heidi said...

I completely understand how you feel on both accounts. Even if your training is derailed for a while, you could always run/walk the half marathon based on where you are in the plan. I'll be thinking speedy healing thoughts for you!