Friend Fetish

Those of you who REALLY know me will not be surprised by what I am about to admit.
I am picky.  I think it has something indirectly to do with my Type A personality.  Anyway... I am even picky about friends.  Who I want to spend my time with is just something that matters.  I guess in a weird way, I would rather have quiet time by myself or with my loved ones if someone is just ho-hum.  I don't go out looking for friends.  If I happen to meet some nice people along the way by accident or opportunity and we hit it off... then great.  If not, then that's OK too.  God knows how much I hate "dating" Mommies (ie: potential friends) just about as much as I hated the dating scene before meeting Brian... it just is uncomfortable and I hate going through the motions of meeting and making awkward talk (especially if you aren't sure you will really like someone).  But in the end, if things do work out, it sure does feel nice to meet someone who I could actually enjoy being around from time-to-time.

I guess part of my pickiness comes with being let down by "potential" friends and feeling like I had to be friends with people despite not having anything in common or really even liking them all that much.  Looking back on several instances of meeting people, I just realize that there are lots of initial turnoffs.  Again, its very much like dating a guy.  You look for certain qualities (personality, confidence, goals & ambition, kindness, etc) and if they just aren't there then why force the potential friendship, right?  Well, thats how I think anyway.  For example, don't talk too much and certainly don't just talk about yourself or your issues - being a friend is a two way streak.  After all, you need (and should want) to let the other person talk so two people can find out about each other; I have to have something in common with a potential friend - kids the same age, her being athletic, hometown, soccer, teaching, etc.  Something of substance is key.

Outside of my wonderful group of girlfriends who I met through teaching at Choctaw (some of whom still are there & others have moved on like myself), only a hand full of military spouses that I have met at different assignments have made the cut.  These are special friends, Laura S., Camille M., Jess S., Marsha B., and Kim W., who I had an almost-instant connection with and have remained friends despite our many moves away from each other due to the Air Force.

So I met a mama today while shopping in the commissary.  Right from the first aisle when her kids and my kids were chatting it up and we were both in "race car" carts... well, she seemed "normal" and nice.  Fourteen isles later and many interactions along the way, we met up in the front of the line to go to cash registers.  She threw me a compliment about making grocery shopping with 3 kids look easy and I returned the compliment.  We quickly said goodbye and went on our way.  Fast forward 30 minutes and we ran into each other with our kids at the indoor playground.  Maybe being friends was meant to be?  We got a chance to chat about our kids, careers on hold, military hubbies and opportunities that each of our families are facing currently.  Wow.  She seemed so easy to talk with.  Again, she seemed so "normal!"  After being in Alaska since early August, I think I might have just met my first friend.  I guess we will see.