TTT

TTT.
I'm referring to "Tattle Tale Thomas".  I realize that this is completely "age & stage" appropriate for a four year old... but my goodness... it is annoying.

So, I realize that children tattle for the same reasons adults do — to exert power, to boost self-esteem, or just to get attention. Pre-K and Kindergartners are notorious tattle-tales — usually about siblings, but also about playmates.  I'm sure its because kids can one-up another kid, to gain favor in the eyes of his/her parent.  Experts say that tattling also has its positive side (although its really hard to focus on the positive when you hear so much tattling): supposedly it can demonstrate your Pre-K or kindergartner's desire to show you that he understands rules and knows right from wrong and that he also feels secure in the knowledge that he can ask for help when necessary.  OK... I guess that is true.  So I guess everything has its ups, as well as its downs.

Don't get me wrong, I want Thomas to alert me when someone does something dangerous, but we are still working on differentiating dangerous from annoying. (Is jumping on the bed dangerous, for instance?) In the mean time, I am trying really hard lately to praise Thomas when he comes to me in order to protect Marilyn or Abby - Something like "thank you for looking out for your sister. That will help keep her safe" has been said a time or two from me.

Not only do I want to nip tattling, I also don't want to unjustly punish Abby for her "horrible crime," especially since there is a high chance her offense was exaggerated by Thomas.  I'm trying (really, really hard) to refrain from jumping in, with hopes that Thomas will soon understand that some battles are meant for him alone, and that he can be proud of himself when he handles a situation solo.  Of course, the other problem is Abby and her 2-year old attitude.  Surely you have heard of the Terrible Twos?
I'm currently even trying this tactic - giving Thomas some work to do when he tattles which will hopefully put the burden back on his shoulders. When he comes running to me with news of Abby's "bad" (but not dangerous) doings, for instance, I tell him to draw a picture of the deed and leave it on the table, where I will look at it later. Sometimes he has realized that the time and effort this entails just isn't worth it. If what he wants is my attention, I tell him I'll be happy to listen to anything he wants to tell me about himself — but not about Abby (or Marilyn I'm sure), unless they're in danger, of course.

Meanwhile, as we work through the Tattle-Tale and Terrible Two stage... I just continue to give lots of hugs and kisses, remind myself that this is just a stage (albeit a long one) and that this too will pass.