Monday, July 26, 2010

Mixed Emotions

This is how I always feel this time of year. I have mixed emotions about returning to school (work) and sending the kids back to daycare after having been home with them through the summer & tasted the life of a stay-at-home-mom. Today was day#1 that marked transition week.

Historically, Thomas has done pretty OK with getting back into the groove. Usually, a little resistance in the days leading up to me going back to work. Usually the night before he is excited. The morning of is most often times NOT very pretty. Not interested in getting dressed at the O'Dark hundred hour (sorry... military slang) and insists on getting cozy together in our 'jammies. The whole time I'm thinking, "you have no idea how much I would like to be in bed asleep Thomas." Anyway - we got to school and he saw many of his old friends & lots of familiar faces so he eased in much quicker than he has in past years. Thank goodness.

Abby is a first timer and she had no idea what was going on with us getting dressed so early and heading out the door. What she complained about was having to wear socks & shoes. "God Mom, the nerve of you to put shoes on my feet. I'm a Florida Girl & prefer to be barefoot," is the reaction I felt she gave me as she screamed and kicked. Drama. Drama. Drama. By the time we arrived at daycare, she saw her old "stuff" with Ms. Betty and I was history - she hardly gave Thomas & me a kiss. So much for a painstaking goodbye kiss.

Me, on the other hand, was excited to be bringing them back to daycare so they could get back into the swing of things, but it was emotional for me. I hate to say goodbye to them for, what seems like the first time, as well as the established routine at the time. I did save my tears for the car though... I refused to let them see that I was going to miss them more than the world for the few hours they would be away from me. I know... pathetic.

Back to the point of the blog... mixed emotions. After a summer of staying at home with the kids, it is time for a change in my routine. I need to be back in the classroom teaching and doing what i love to do. Yes, I do teach at home. I think ALL parents, to a large extent, are teachers. Some are better than others and results certainly vary. But what I'm talking about is teaching history (amongst other things) to teenagers. That is my calling and I love it. I also miss it by the end of the summer. Hense my mixed emotions.

I love that I get an opportunity to be at home with Thomas & Abbigail all summer. I get the best experience in the world and that is time with them. I'm a part of every bit of their daily routines (granted because they are still at the age where they are still dependent on me), I get 100s of kisses, snuggles, & hugs all day long and I get to be an intimate part of their learning. I love it. But at some point in the late summer, my head starts to be thinking about the upcoming work that is ahead at school and I start to get excited & anxious for the upcoming school year. I also get excited for what lies ahead for each Thomas & Abby with their new respective teachers and what they will be learning this upcoming year. What will Thomas master this next school year - start identifying words, more sophisticated art, even better fine motor skills, etc? Abby will start riding rider toys, start running, and how quickly will her vocabulary explode once she is with other 1-year olds? I can't wait.

But mixed emotions is what I have, especially on a day like today when our entire routine changed when the sun came up. But both of my munchkins did well. They were so excited to see me when I showed up at the end of lunchtime to get them. We talked (and babbled) all the way home about their morning activities and just 15 minutes after getting home - they were both fast asleep taking their nap. See... it was a good day. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better.

1 comment:

Danifred said...

I don't think being away from our kids ever gets easier, regardless of the reason. It is wonderful that you have a job you love though to at least make it a little easier!!!