Torn, but anxious

There are so many things that I feel torn, but anxious about lately...

• Thomas heading off to kindergarten.  I feel like this makes him officially my "big boy" yet I still want those "little boy" moments that I still get.  This year marks the beginning of the next 13 years in his life where he will be heavily influenced by others, exposed to new ideas & new people who may or may not share our same values and he will hopefully continue to embrace learning, wondering, & seeking out answers to his every question.
• Abby having her Early Intervention school district speech evaluation at the end of this month.  This may or may not be a significant turning point for Abby in her future education.  The uncertainty is what makes me so anxious.
• Getting ready to return to "work"... but with a completely different role... and not for a paycheck.  In a new school, not in the classroom & taking the next step to new opportunities.
• Marilyn, at the age of 14 months, being in the care of someone else for the first time in her life.  Although the other two have been loved & cared for in the deepest way by others in the past, neither of them were at home with me for their first year.  She doesn't know any different.  Understandably, this presents new & different emotions when it comes to Marilyn going off to daycare.
• Considering retirement from the Air Force.  21 years is a long time.  Each & every day Brian and I weigh in our minds the pros & cons to calling it quits, dropping the paperwork, saying goodbye to the AF & moving forward with new plans.
• Riding solo again (w/o hubby) in the fall with a busy schedule & my hands full.  Been down this road before several times.  Not worried that I can't handle it, but instead it just means a super busy schedule, one set of hands to do it all, being in *that* mindset 24/7 & inevitably... less quality time with my 3 munchkins.