Sunday, March 24, 2013

Being honest - Marriage

I started this blog almost 6 years ago as a way to keep record of Thomas' life.  Then we added Abbigail.  And finally, Marilyn joined our clan.  The bottom line is this blog is for my children.  It documents their lives, our lives, and everything in between.  This is also my blog, so my voice is the only one represented.  Although many family and friends read this blog and enjoy the family updates, especially when we live so far away, I blog with the intent & the reminder that my children are going to be reading this one day.  With that said, I obviously censor what I share.  Actually, to be quite honest, there is a tremendous amount of censoring that takes place regarding my thoughts & my feelings about everything that goes on in our lives.  Brian, too appreciates that I censor what I share with the world.  He reads the blog, offers feedback and sometimes offers suggestions about future topics.

With all that being said, there are several reasons why I don't ever complain about our marriage.  Let me set the record straight, although we do have a great relationship, Brian still makes me crazy on occasion and we, like all couples, have things we are constantly working on.  We argue, we get mad at each other, we yell sometimes.  But, in the end, we respect each other.  It is that respect that sets the tone for how I talk about Brian on this blog.

I want our kids to know that marriage is work.  Marriage is compromise, give and take, friendship, and love.  It is not a perfect situation involving unicorns, roses, and rainbows.  To put it simply... I don't like to air any of our dirty laundry.  Matter of fact, that's down right disrespectful.  What happens in our house, stays in our house.  Sure, from time to time we need to vent, and we each have a special person that we confide in with the things we quarrel about.  I admit, he does make me crazy when he doesn't load the dishwasher "correctly" and I drive him nuts that I always fill his coffee cup up to the brim & usually spill some as a result.  We are human, after all.

Generally, we don't fight much at all, but when we do, it is my job as my children's mother to present their father with fairness and respect, not anger and retribution because we bickered and I didn't get my way or I think I'm right and he's wrong. This is true of the blog and in real life.

Without a doubt, I adore Brian and I adore our marriage.  It's not perfect, but that's for us to work out behind closed doors, not for the public to place judgment on.  I hope our children will grow up to see our commitment to each other as an example of what to strive for not just in marriage, but in all relationships.

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