I'm fairly certain that I'm not winning Mom O' the Year Award here because
sometimes I say these things...
"I don't like what we're having for dinner!"
Me: "Suck it up, buttercup! This is what's on the dinner menu tonight."
"I'm bored! Can I go play on my iPad again"
Me: "Nope, sorry Charlie! You already had your time today. Instead, go play with one of your gazillion toys you have in the playroom. That, or I can get rid of all of them!"
"I want to go buy a new toy today at the store!"
Me: "Do I look like the ATM at the bank? Besides, you just got a ton of new toys at Christmas. Don't you have enough? Wait... don't answer that."
Me: "I'm not talking to you until you are wearing underwear!"
Me: (As we are putting groceries away) "Please don't lick the frozen pea bag, or the frozen apple juice, or the milk container!"
Me: "We do NOT use the "F" word in our house... do you all hear me?"
"Well, can we say "Fart" when we are playing outside of the house, Mom?