~ GOD MADE MILITARY WIVES A DIFFERENT BREED ~
WHEN THE GOOD LORD WAS CREATING WIVES, HE WAS INTO HIS SIXTH DAY OF OVERTIME. AN ANGEL APPEARED AND SAID, "YOU'RE HAVING A LOT OF TROUBLE WITH THIS ONE. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE STANDARD MODEL?" AND THE LORD REPLIED, "HAVE YOU SEEN THE SPECS (SPECIFICATIONS) ON THIS ONE? SHE HAS TO BE TOTALLY INDEPENDENT BUT MUST BE SPONSORED TO GET ON THE BASE; MUST HAVE THE QUALITIES OF BOTH MOTHER AND FATHER DURING CRISIS; MUST BE A PERFECT HOSTESS TO FOUR OR FORTY; MUST RUN ON BLACK COFFEE; MUST HANDLE EMERGENCIES WITHOUT AN APPROPRIATE MANUAL; MUST BE ABLE TO HANDLE FLU, BIRTHDAYS AND MOVE AROUND THE WORLD; MUST HAVE A KISS THAT CURES EVERYTHING FROM A CHILD'S TORN VALENTINE TO A HUSBAND'S WEARY DAY; MUST HAVE THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT WHEN WAITING FOR A SHIP TO COME HOME; AND HAVE SIX PAIRS OF HANDS." "LORD," SAID THE ANGEL, TOUGHING HIS SLEEVE GENTLY, "COME TO BED. YOU CAN FINISH THAT TOMORROW." "I CAN'T," SAID THE LORD. "I'M SO CLOSE TO CREATING SOMETHING UNIQUE. ALREADY, I HAVE ONE WHO HEALS HERSELF WHEN SHE IS SICK, CAN FEED THREE UNEXPECTED GUESTS WHO ARE STUCK IN THE AREA DUE TO BAD WEATHER, AND CAN WAVE GOODBYE TO HER HUSBAND FROM A PIER OR A RUNWAY----AND UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO HIS COUNTRY THAT HE LEAVE." THE ANGEL CIRCLED THE MODEL OF THE MILITARY WIFE VERY SLOWLY. "IT'S TOO SOFT," SHE SIGHED. "BUT TOUGH," SAID THE LORD EXCITEDLY. "YOU CANNOT IMAGINE WHAT THIS WOMAN CAN ENDURE." "CAN IT THINK?" "CAN IT THINK! IT CAN CONVERT 1400 TO 2pm!" FINALLY, THE ANGEL BENT OVER AND RAN HER FINGER ACROSS THE CHEEK. "THERE'S A LEAK," SHE SAID. "IT'S NOT A LEAK," SAID THE LORD. "IT'S A TEAR." "WHAT'S IT FOR?" ASKED THE ANGEL. "IT'S FOR JOY, SADNESS, PAIN, DISAPPOINTMENT, LONELINESS AND PRIDE," SAID THE LORD. "YOU ARE A GENIUS," SAID THE ANGEL. THE LORD LOOKED SOMBER AND REPLIED, "I DIDN'T PUT IT THERE."
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